“I’m a wonderful person who deserves a meaningful career, fun sex with whomever I like, great friends who can handle ideological disagreements without discarding me, and a community that has my back even when and if I fuck up.”
Damn right you do—and I *do* expect big things from you in the future.
Jennifer, this made me a bit emotional. I can’t believe these people are so obsessive as to make a whole website about a person. I can’t imagine having the energy to be that hateful.
Love you so much, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing and for your courage. I am so sorry this all happened to you and I can’t wait to see what rises from these ashes. You’re an inspiration.
Well I don't know about any of this cancelling. I read your posts and feel like I learn something and on top of everything I get encouraged by how much you believe and care in what you're doing and thinking. Whether it's on God or sexual neutrality. Keep up the journal, please.
Oh, god; I've seen the same things happen in fandom, repeatedly. So'n'so wrote a "problematic" fic or likes a pairing that we decided was bad (for the thinnest of reasons) and they're going to be ostracized and called horrific things, and all their friends are gonna get harassed, and on and on and ON.
It's easy to pretend "it's just online lol, go outside and touch grass;" but I've seen people who are isolated IRL lose all their friends and community. One artist has been threatened repeatedly, had pizzas sent to their house (as a way for these shitty people to remind them they know the artist's address), and has had to ask for extra security at conventions! A good friend of mine was harassed while on a con panel, including her talking about her experience of abuse being recorded and put on youtube without permission. A different friend went through a bad break-up and her ex *called her employer* to tell them she wrote explicit fiction about cartoon characters. (...which is how her and her ex MET, side note)
My own fb account is currently reminding me of the time in 2016 that a friend and I had a sudden and godawful fight and I lost a ton of my online friends and was depressed for six months after that. Worse than any romantic breakup. The worst part was that while I met this person through online fandom, they were also local to me--so I still sometimes worry I'll run into them at local conventions.
I guess my point is just: I'm sorry. This kind of bullshit is just too fucking common. And I'm so, so glad you've found other sources of community.
You are a wonderful person who deserves love, sex, and relationships with people who respect and appreciate you. Thank you for being brave.
Thank you so much for writing this, Jennifer.
“I’m a wonderful person who deserves a meaningful career, fun sex with whomever I like, great friends who can handle ideological disagreements without discarding me, and a community that has my back even when and if I fuck up.”
Damn right you do—and I *do* expect big things from you in the future.
Jennifer, this made me a bit emotional. I can’t believe these people are so obsessive as to make a whole website about a person. I can’t imagine having the energy to be that hateful.
Love you so much, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing and for your courage. I am so sorry this all happened to you and I can’t wait to see what rises from these ashes. You’re an inspiration.
Well I don't know about any of this cancelling. I read your posts and feel like I learn something and on top of everything I get encouraged by how much you believe and care in what you're doing and thinking. Whether it's on God or sexual neutrality. Keep up the journal, please.
Oh, god; I've seen the same things happen in fandom, repeatedly. So'n'so wrote a "problematic" fic or likes a pairing that we decided was bad (for the thinnest of reasons) and they're going to be ostracized and called horrific things, and all their friends are gonna get harassed, and on and on and ON.
It's easy to pretend "it's just online lol, go outside and touch grass;" but I've seen people who are isolated IRL lose all their friends and community. One artist has been threatened repeatedly, had pizzas sent to their house (as a way for these shitty people to remind them they know the artist's address), and has had to ask for extra security at conventions! A good friend of mine was harassed while on a con panel, including her talking about her experience of abuse being recorded and put on youtube without permission. A different friend went through a bad break-up and her ex *called her employer* to tell them she wrote explicit fiction about cartoon characters. (...which is how her and her ex MET, side note)
My own fb account is currently reminding me of the time in 2016 that a friend and I had a sudden and godawful fight and I lost a ton of my online friends and was depressed for six months after that. Worse than any romantic breakup. The worst part was that while I met this person through online fandom, they were also local to me--so I still sometimes worry I'll run into them at local conventions.
I guess my point is just: I'm sorry. This kind of bullshit is just too fucking common. And I'm so, so glad you've found other sources of community.
Girl. This. Yes! I love seeing this!
This was so powerful and deeply emotional.