Pride and Rainbows and God's Promises
Pride Month can be tough on LGBTQ Christians. Maybe this can help you make it through.
Pride Month is a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, I’m bisexual with two primary male partners, so I always feel a little weird about it, even though I do actively date other genders too, I just don’t have as serious a partnership with one and I start feeling as if I am not queer enough.
Then there are continual conversations on whether or not polyamory is queer and deserves a space in Pride Month, and I find it exhausting. (My opinion is that while many white, cishet polyamorous people certainly have privileges in polyamory and it’s not inherently queer by itself — it is very, very difficult being a polyamorous person in the U.S.A., far more of us are closeted, those of us who are parents have almost zero rights for our relationships/children, and we face a lot of societal stigmas, but our invisibility also means we are not targeted as often on a widespread legal basis, so.)
Not to mention, as a communist, I find the corporate pride element of the month horrifying. Places like Target and Bud Light try to be inclusive and then end up backtracking. Plus, corporations are never, ever going to be friends of marginalized people and liberation of the working class + all people will never come from a rainbow-colored product made in a sweatshop by someone making $5 a day.
But… then I start to see other conservative Christians raging, raging against the month itself. “Pride is a sin!” they say. “Nobody should have a month about the people you have sex with!” “Rainbows are a symbol for GOD, not GAYS.” And then I start to get angry.
First of all, the original translation in the Bible is more of a “war bow” across the sky, not an actual rainbow. The story of Noah, one of the most sociopathic depictions of God in the Bible outside the story of Isaac’s sacrifice, is more thematic when seen this way. God promises never to destroy the Earth again, and the idea is he lays a bow across the sky, setting down a weapon. This is common knowledge among theologians, but I don’t know why pastors don’t preach it that way.
And of course, a rainbow is symbolic for dozens of cultures throughout human history, and symbols can and always be repurposed or have dual meanings — just look up the history of the swastika. It’s absurd that a weather phenomenon that almost everyone has experienced can only belong to “Christians” (when Noah wasn’t even a Christian?) and shouldn’t be used by anyone else ever.
Pride, of course, is one of those things that Christians — white evangelicals specifically, it seems — like to complain about when it comes to people of color or LGBTQ people. “Why isn’t there a white entertainment channel? Why isn’t there a white history month? Why isn’t there a straight pride flag?” Many LGBTQ people who aren’t Christians easily ignore these criticisms, but it can feel more nuanced when you’re both LGBTQ -and- a Christian.
But guess what? The biblical concept of pride isn’t about loving yourself or accepting yourself. It’s about being haughty, self-absorbed, and putting yourself above others. Wealthy people do this. Politicians do this. Influencers and public figures do this. And yet, conservatives only seem to take notice of “pride” when marginalized people express it. Incredibly hypocritical, yes?
God made you LGBTQ, and he/she/they love you the way you are. Really. And that’s God’s biggest promise.
You can take pride in your relationship, in your sexuality, in your gender. After two years of the onslaught against trans people in particular, people deserve a chance to center their struggles and their rights when the rest of the world wants them dead. Do you know how powerful it is to be openly, proudly LGBTQ while people spew hateful lies and nonsense and write laws meant to actively harm you? Many people believe we are in the beginning stages of a trans genocide, and I agree.
The saddest part of the anti-LGBTQ laws and the Christian anti-LGBTQ sentiment is the way we are all constantly sexualized. As a polyamorous bisexual woman, this is something I experience constantly. People tell me to keep my lifestyle/family private, which is insane. Nobody ever, ever asks straight monogamous people to not talk about their loved ones. Nobody ever says their marriages and relationships aren’t safe for children. Nobody ever complains when they are depicted on TV in an innocuous way. Even if you disagree with homosexuality or gender-affirming measures, learning that these people exist and that we should be able to interact with them with respect, joy, and kindness should not be a problematic concept.
And considering that LGBTQ people are born into conservative religious families every single day all over the world — despite what they believe — these displays of LGBTQ pride can be life-saving. It is absolutely life-saving to know that other LGBTQ people exist, are thriving, are joyful — and in my opinion as a Christian, it can also be life-saving to know that other Christians are LGBTQ as well, and they hold both those identities in their hearts without sacrificing one for the other.
It isn’t always easy to ignore the haters, as it were. Especially if those “haters” are our relatives, friends, and communities. I always encourage people to reach out and find their “chosen” family. To relocate to more progressive neighborhoods, towns, or states if they can. To quit hateful churches and workplaces. To be adamant with your family about how they can talk to you and hold firm boundaries to help you avoid toxicity from them. But, you cannot avoid these opinions and mindsets forever. We do not exist in a bubble.
What you can do is be bold. Be proud. Be joyful. In the face of all adversity. Don’t give up on yourself, and find people who love and accept you exactly the way you are. I promise you, they’re out there.
Right now, death investigators (gods, what a job) are finding out that LGBTQ people have higher rates of suicides — a fact we’ve already known. But, people are finding out that those rates are so much higher in religious settings, conservative settings, and non-affirming settings. Unfortunately, most non-affirming people don’t care. Because they already see being LGBTQ as a mental defect. They think mental health issues run alongside the LGBTQ identity, not because of the hateful bigotry they’re exposed to. But, of course, LGBTQ people in affirming settings are still much more likely to stay alive — a convenient fact conservative Christians ignore.
Even in affirming settings, even in a country like the U.S.A. where LGBTQ people may seem to have more rights than in other countries like Uganda (whose barbaric laws were heavily influenced by evangelical missionaries), we are all still exposed to dehumanizing rhetoric that straight, monogamous, cisgender people just never will face. Nobody will ever debate their right to exist, perform, live openly, discuss their lives in public schools, or try to control their medical choices. (The obvious exception being abortion.)
If you, like me, struggle with the nuances of Pride Month as a Christian, you’re not alone. But you have every reason to be proud — and defiant — this year and every year.
My latest story, “All God’s Children,” is about covered-up sexual assault and blatant LGBTQ+ discrimination at Lee University, my alma mater. You can purchase a digital copy here for $5 or get a hard copy for $18. It includes dozens of stories, illustrations, photos, and poems as well. Please consider supporting Olney as they continue to do great work and hope to pay their writers at increased rates going forward.
I’ll also be presenting a panel at the Wild Goose Festival this year in North Carolina from July 13 to July 16. If you want to attend, you can get a ticket here and use the discount code JENNBO to get $50 off the asking price.
And finally, in honor of Pride Month, I’m once again asking you to donate to one of my favorite nonprofits, the Religious Exemption Accountability Project which helps to protect LGBTQ+ students in religious colleges.
Also, if you’re on Bluesky, you can follow me there — no, I do not have any invites!