Polyamory doesn't have to be conducted like a corporate training seminar

A response to the "lessons from a 20-person polycule" article at NYT.

(Side note: I recently wrote a Christian ethic on non-monogamy for the online journal Unbound: The Intersections of Faith and Justice. I love the Presbyterians! Read it here, and please share!)

Image by myself. I need some more views on my articles, okay? Let me be. I was too lazy to find a relevant picture. I just found this in my pictures folder. It’s not even that recent, I think last year or 2022

I gotta be honest: I’m pretty much over this whole “I’m polyamorous, but not like THOSE polyamorous people!” And I’m so guilty of being like that myself, so this lecture is for me, too. I’m trying to stop coming off like that and have more empathy and understanding for people in all stages of their polyamorous lives.

With that said, I saw a few people shitting on this NYT piece about a 20-person polycule (no, I’m not linking to it!), and all of the quotes were littered with Tumblr-social-justice, pop-psychology, corporate-PR-retreat kinda language, and yeah, it was eye-roll-worthy. It’s like these people are trying to sell you a product: these are YOUR FEELINGS on polyamory! “Do the work!” “Invest in yourself!” “Hustle and grind, but in interpersonal relationships!”

And, of course, those are the sorts of polyamorous people that tend to be the focus of in-depth articles at prestigious outlets while the messiest, most problematic, unicorn-hunting dipshit assholes get to be on television to prove to an audience of shocked monogamous people how polyamory like, omg, never works out because of how crazy everyone is!

But psst: polyamory can be awesome for ordinary, regular-ass people. You don’t have to read a million books, or go to 10 years of therapy, or have 30-minute weekly meetings with everyone you want to send a sext to, or overcomplicate your life even further than multiple relationships and a booked Google Calendar will do to ya.

Here’s how.