Is non-monogamous activism failing to meet the moment?

It's a billionaire's America, and everything must be liquidated. Are polyamorous activists doing enough?

Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

Polyamory has been my main, most consistent, interesting platform topic for years. It’s no longer fringe. I don’t mean that it’s no longer uncommon because it is, even if you think “everyone” is non-monogamous now. They’re not. We’re increasing, but rare. But I mean that most people know what it is and have an opinion of it.

Many polyamorous people are the subjects of memes, sometimes hateful and sometimes good-natured, but most feel a little mocking and, above all else, as if these romantic relationships simply aren’t as serious or important as the fight for, say, gay marriage and trans acceptance.

Even other non-monogamous people complain about how annoying polyamorous people are. I used to do this quite a bit myself and will do it occasionally in private still, but I’ve stopped doing this publicly. At a certain point, it stopped feeling like it was a cultural watershed moment for humor and acceptance and started feeling personal and threatening. Mainstream conservatives aren’t super-aware of polyamorous people, but once a famous person comes out as non-monogamous or a politician they don’t like talks about it, well, it’s so over for us.

However, when I look at the non-monogamy activism space and see the numerous polyamory-centric creators online, for the most part, I feel let down. There are only so many ways to educate people about a seemingly endless lexicon. There are only so many jokes we can make. There are only so many lurid sexual details we can share about our private lives. At a certain point, we need to shift into solidarity with other people, and we are at that certain point. Here’s how I think we can best accomplish that.