The Exvangelical Guide to Having a Threesome
When you're new to group sex and grew up in purity culture, you don't always know what's going on.
![this is a photo of "The Three Graces" by Antonio Canova. It's a sculpture that features three women touching each other. It's not meant to be sensual but I'm using it to be sensual anyway because I want to this is a photo of "The Three Graces" by Antonio Canova. It's a sculpture that features three women touching each other. It's not meant to be sensual but I'm using it to be sensual anyway because I want to](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F67b6c6f1-0b10-4f41-92d9-32e3d23d856e_4272x2848.jpeg)
I remember my first threesome. It was the night Trump got elected in 2016. Like every other pundit in the world, I assumed Hillary Clinton would be the president-elect at the end of the night. I wasn’t quite as leftist — I was a big Bernie Sanders fan — but I certainly didn’t think the idiotic candidate would end up as president. I even once wrote a joke article about visiting the Trump winery when he was still in the GOP primary. There’s even a picture of me in that article wearing a Make America Great Again hat, which I’m sure someone will try to use as a “gotcha” way down the line.
To put it lightly, I definitely thought this whole thing was a joke. So, I was watching the election results roll in with Daniel’s then-girlfriend. My kids were young and asleep, so we were drinking and having fun, and then, all of a sudden, I realized Trump had won. I was miserable, shocked, scared, sad, and drunk. I didn’t have the communist pessimism I have now or the “horrible things” tolerance we’ve built up as a society since then.
I’d never done anything with Daniel’s girlfriend or even discussed it, but we were drunk and feisty. Unlike normal people, I take politics very personally and consume news and media voraciously to the point that it impacts my personal well-being. So, you can imagine that I was in a vulnerable state. This isn’t the best scenario for a threesome.
And that’s when we started getting handsy.
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